Clarity In Not Making Sense

The last two weeks have been a blur. Paper, paper, all nighter, prepare for test. There has been some stress but I manage to get it all done.

Tonight is Tuesday and I leave for school again at dawn. Yes there is still work to be done, I'm beginning to think that there will always be work to be done. I'm think I may even be starting to allow there to be work to be done. But at this moment, it seems as if a settled-ness has come over me. Right now I feel as if everything is going to be alright.

This moment of settled stillness though has taught me something. In the rush rush of seminary and my desire do the things I do, be they papers or anything else, well, I cannot forget the purpose for why I am doing what I am doing. I cannot forget to cherish and develop who I am. Yes there is something of me in the papers I have been writing and presentations I have been forming. Yet they are--only shadows of my substance, as Plato would say--not me!

In this quietness I remember me. I remember and embrace all the talents and organizational experience that I have brought with me into seminary so that they too may be developed and used for a greater good. More importantly, I remember me. I purposefully reach out to glimpse my hearts desire and attempt to recall that heart is more important then deed.

This moment has been brought to you by all my poems, all the books that I have pressed and stitched, all the performances and those I have performed with, for all those words I have hurled into the airless void hoping they might find you. They are me. This moment is a memory of all the people who have contributed to my growth in love and spirit by allowing me to serve them, and this is for all those who have, and do, patiently assisted me as I grow. They have loved me. This is for the poets, and the lovers, the believers, and the deceivers. This is brought to you by the numeral of uniqueness. They have known me.